The Muppets take their show on a European tour. But mayhem follows the gang as they find themselves entangled in a caper headed by Constantine, the World's Number One Criminal — and a dead ringer for Kermit. Catch it on U-verse Movies. But first, click the big green button below for some Fozzie-style chuckles and groans. Or swipe right for the Muppets Most Wanted Coloring Book.Or, check out our Muppets Most Wanted Coloring Book with the tile below.
easy as 1-2-3
- STEP 1: Press ON DEMAND on your remote control.
- STEP 2: Go to
U-verse Movies and search for titles by category or from A to Z. - STEP 3: Select a title and start watching.
- New-release
rentals are $5, or
$6 in HD.
Wocka, wocka! Hey there, folks!
Click my button — read some jokes!
Hey! That Gonzo is so dumb, he just heard that we're running short of water, so he wants us to dilute it.
I don't approve of belly dancers. Why can't they dance on the floor like everyone else?
My house is so dirty, my dog buries his bones in the living room carpet.
I bet on a horse that came in so late, they had to pay the jockey time and a half.
Hey! Question: What has a thousand legs and can't walk? 500 pairs of pants!
Hey! I went to a resort hotel for a change and a rest. The waiter got the change and the hotel got the rest!
Hey! Question: If a man born in Poland is a Pole, is a man born in Holland a Hole? Think about it.
These two cannibals were talking. One cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Who was that lady I saw you out with last night?" The other cannibal says, "That was no lady, that was my lunch!"
New York is so crowded, even the cemeteries are standing room only.
I had a dressing room so small, all the mice were hunchbacked.
I learned to handle hecklers in a nightclub so tough, the hatcheck girl was a gorilla.
Hey! I once met a vampire who was so rich, he lived in a split-level coffin.
Speaking of cheapskates, I know a guy so cheap, when he goes fishing, he puts a picture of a worm on his hook, and he catches a picture of a fish.
A guy walks into a diner. There's a horse behind the counter. The guy just looks at the horse. The horse says "What's the matter? Surprised to see me here?" And the guy says, "Yeah, did the cow sell the place?"
Hey! Did you hear about the new sport they have? Yeah, you walk through five miles of poison ivy. It's called "itch hiking."
I went to this bad seafood place the other day. Yeah, it was so bad, the catch of the day was salmon-ella!
Hey, guys, here's a joke for ya. Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws!
Here I am, Fozzie Bear, to tell you jokes both old and rare. Wocka wocka wocka!
- STATLER: He couldn't throw a line to a drowning man.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Half way!
- STATLER: I was on that ship. It wasn't funny then, and it isn't funny now.
This is Fozzie Bear out in the open air with funny jokes to spare. So laugh, don't stare.
- STATLER: He's either brilliant or that's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
My wife loves children, but I can't bear them. Oh, I'm rolling now. I'm on a roll!
- WALDORF: Yeah, well, why don't you butter yourself and slip on out of here?
Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm a bear. I'm not a bunny, so here's some stuff that's really funny!
- WALDORF: Bravo, bravo!
- STATLER: Why are you yelling bravo? Did you like it that much?
- WALDORF: Nope. Friend of mine, Joe Bravo, he's sitting in the front row. Bravo!
Grab your shoes and grab your socks! Here come the jokes! Here come the yocks!
- STATLER: We'd like to see an impression of a bear leaving a stage!
Time for fun with Fozzie Bear. Here's some jokes from everywhere!
- WALDORF: We surrender! We surrender!
My cousin is so thin, he paints his head gold and rents himself out as a flagpole.
- STATLER: Well, that was different.
- WALDORF: Yep. Lousy ...
- BOTH: ... but different!
I knew a frog who got so tired, he fell asleep during his nap.
- WALDORF: Now I've seen everything.
- STATLER: Good! Can we leave?